Christmas with my husband is interesting. Gift-giving with him is different from gift-giving with my family, gift-giving with my girlfriends or gift-giving with absolutely anyone else. I like to see people’s faces light up, hear them say, “I NEEDED one of these! I’ve always WANTED one of these! I LOVE it!” and then see them wear, use or play with the gift I got them months later. But it’s not quite like that with Cody.

To illustrate my point, I will give an example of a conversation we had while we were exchanging gifts on Christmas Eve.

But first, let me give you some background.

I had fretted over what to get Cody as I was shopping with my little brother the day before. Some nice shirts? A new sweater to replace the one I accidentally bleached? A pair of Lucky brand jeans he wouldn’t spend his own hard-earned money on? Then I found it. A coat. A charcoal gray, popped-collar coat from Banana Republic. Half-off?! Even better. That coat was awesome, and I knew it would look totally hot on my husband. I bought it.

But as we headed home, I wondered if he really wanted a new coat. Did he need it? Should I get him something more fun instead of something he needed? Would he rather have some kind of electronic toy, a new XBox game, accessories for his truck? But it was the night before Christmas Eve. Too late for second thoughts. So I went home and wrapped the gift, hoping I’d get the reaction I was looking for when he opened it: jaw-dropping excitement.

Christmas Eve afternoon we had both gotten home early from work and were just finishing lunch when my husband announced it was time for us to exchange gifts. I insisted he open mine first so that I didn’t have to stress any longer.

Here’s how it played out:

Cody tore at the wrapping paper and saw the bottom of the box. He feigned excitement.

“A white box??!”

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. He flipped the box over and smiled widely.

“Ooooh, Banana Republic. Did you get me new nice shirts, babe?”

“Hm-mm,” I answered as he opened the box and pushed the tissue paper aside.

“A coat,” he said simply, pulling it out and holding it up. Not quite as excited as I had been hoping he would be. “It’s nice.”

I stared at him expectantly, waiting for the moment when he realizes it’s an awesome coat. He stood up and walked over to the mirror by the front door to try it on.

I was tired of waiting.

“Do you LIKE it?!” I asked, the pitch in my voice raising a bit. He twisted around in front of the mirror to see all sides of the coat.

“Do YOU like it?” He asked me back, his eyes not moving from the mirror.

I frowned. What kind of answer was that?

“What kind of answer is that?” I asked. “Do YOU like it?”

“Babe, just tell me. Do you like it?”

“YES, I like it!!” I tried not to snap. “I wouldn’t have bought it for you if I didn’t. I thought it was totally your style, that you’d look hot in it.”

“Then I like it,” he said smiling. “You think I look hot in it?”

Exasperated, I stood up from my spot on the floor and put my hands on my hips.

“Yes!” I said, pointing at the mirror. “Don’t you like the way it looks on you?”

“Well, if you think it looks hot, then I REALLY like it,” he said. “Thanks, babe. It’s perfect. I told you I needed a coat, and that’s what you got me. Really, I like it.”

I squinted my eyes. “I don’t believe you.”

He laughed, throwing his head back. “Why don’t you believe me?”

“There’s something about it you don’t like,” I said, looking into this eyes to let him know I could see right through him. “I can tell. What is it? I swear I won’t care. We can take it back. Really, it won’t hurt my feelings. We can just get you something else.”

“No,” he said, zipping it up. “I want to keep it. It will be good to have a nice coat. That other one looked silly when I wore it with my dress clothes.”

I didn’t speak. I just stared at him, willing him to say what he was thinking. There HAD to be something else. He thought I was being hilarious.

“Come here,” he said, sweeping me up into a big hug and planting a kiss on my cheek. “It’s a really nice coat and I like it. I promise.  You did a really good job this year.”

A little disgruntled, I sat back down. There was nothing I could do. He was steadfast and swearing up and down he loved it. Oh well, I thought. Maybe give him a day and he’ll be out with whatever it is he didn’t like about the coat. Whatever. Just let it go, Jamie.

I dragged the Santa Claus bag written out to me from under the tree. Pulling out two small wrapped boxes, I looked at Cody with my eyebrow raised.

“Open the small one first,” he said.  I tore open the wrapping paper. As soon as I caught side of a metallic, pink corner and the little white apple symbol, my hands dropped.

“No, you didn’t!!” I exclaimed, looking at him, my jaw falling open. His eyes twinkled and he chuckled.

“I did,” he answered.

“You got me an iPod Nano?!” I shrieked, pulling it from the paper. It was tiny, slender, lightweight and beautiful. “I love it! I’m so excited. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!” I unwrapped the bigger box, to find another Apple-decored package: a Nike computer chip to go into my running shoe that syncs with my iPod to record my workouts. I jumped into his lap and gave him a huge hug around his neck. I popped in the earbuds and did a little dance around the living room, very iPod-commercial-esque.

I hope Cody really does like his coat. I have a feeling him liking his coat had a lot more to do with my happiness than with his, a chivalrous and sweet thing I still haven’t quite gotten used to in our marriage. And even if I didn’t get the reaction I wanted, I am sure mine made up for it.

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