 Photo by Paul Waldron
Often I can’t decide if I’m a risk taker or not.
I’ve made some big decisions — moving away from home for college when many friends picked the 45 minute drive west, abandoning a journalism career to teach, spending semesters, summers and any other time I can in foreign countries…
But is any of that a risk? I’m starting to wonder.
Since arriving in Africa two weeks ago a change has been coming over me. I want to be here. But not just want to be here for the time being.
I want to stay.
That’s scary.
This isn’t a job. This is Christian missions. For free. Or actually, not for free. I have to pay to stay here and work. That concept goes against every planning, thinking, rational choice making bone in my body.
I should be saving for a new car. Preparing to pay for grad school. Buying cute shoes at Nordstrom. Not praying about who is going to support me financially while I’m here and how much can I save on my own. I don’t take these kinds of risks. They’re just too big.
This past weekend I traveled to Ghana with 14 companions from the ship. The group had been around for a while (anywhere from three months to four years) and intends to stay at least another five months if not longer. As a shorter termer, my spot on the trip was thanks to my roommate from back home who has been on ship for six months.
Most of my travel companions were beside themselves with excitement about Ghana, simply because it wasn’t ship life: you live and work in a very small space in a very large, dirty city for months on end. Things don’t change often. When they do, it’s exhilarating.
So we drove and breathed in deeply as we reached the lush hills of Ghana. The day after we arrived we hiked to the lower of two waterfalls in the area.
For all my adventures, I’ve never seen an actual waterfall.
They are amazing things to behold.
The sheer force of the thing rushing down on you is enough to take your breath away. My first attempt at walking all the way through failed. Unsure of what was behind the fall, it felt like the rushing, blinding water would never end. I gave up and walked back out, content to just be cooled by the water still hitting me 25 feet away. Then a fellow hiker came out having reached the other side.
”Just keep going. Close your eyes, get low and just keep going,’’ he said.
Again, I walked into the rushing water.
There is something overwhelmingly exhilarating about the power of that much water raining down on you. I was able to see the underside of the wall of water after I reached the rocky backside of the fall. I could breath again, but like anything powerful, there was little relief from the rush. Even on the other side, the strength of the water still engulfed me.
I would say right at that moment. Right there in the lower falls is when I decided that I don’t think I’m much of a risk taker. But I’m going to change that starting now. That force of nature made me believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that this life is too important to play it safe. My life needs to be shaken up. And I don’t care if I get my masters in two years or six or not at all. I don’t care if I drive a crappy Toyota when I return home or if I stay here until I’m 60.
I care that I’m going to follow my heart, listen for God’s call in my life, close my eyes and just keep going.
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July 9th, 2009 at 7:30 am
Love this! love you! and glad you are having such a fabulous time.
July 9th, 2009 at 8:55 am
Just promise me you will come back once and awhile to Kansas so we can tell you how much we love you and are so proud you.
July 9th, 2009 at 9:20 am
You are truly blessed and the Lord is working tremendously in your life. Follow your heart and the leading of the Holy Spirit. Africa caught me many years ago, but I did not follow the Lord’s calling and now I feel like a slug in life. Yes, do come and see your mom one in awhile, cause I will hear about it if you don’t.
July 9th, 2009 at 1:40 pm
Oh Sam, you brought tears to my eyes. You can do this - you can do anything.
Much love, Gina
October 29th, 2009 at 6:04 pm
Sam- Long time no talk. Great stuff. I hope that you are having the time of you life and living it to the fullest.
Kevin (KC Attack)