Editor’s note: for the next two weeks we’ll be running the best of our This Ordinary Day pieces. We’ve enjoyed working with so many great writers and wonderful people and felt it was high time to take a look back at some of what they’ve brought us. If you’d like to see more pieces, please take a trip over to our archives page — it’ll be well worth your time.

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Do not ask me how I will give her up. Because I don’t know.

Every time she sits, tilts her head to the side, and looks up at me, I fall just a little bit more in love with her — all 12 pounds of her wiggly, Trego Winnebago self. And I’m not sure how my life will work without the constant companionship of this little girl who loves me unconditionally — even when I won’t let her chew on my shoelaces or I’m visibly frustrated with her for peeing on my floor.

How did I get here? How did I become not only a dog owner, but also a dog lover? That’s something else I don’t know.

But now I spend an inordinate amount of time hoping this happy ball of flesh won’t pee before we make it outside and I am — truly — overwhelmed with joy each time she sits patiently at the door, waiting to go out. She never even hops up and down or whines. She just waits. And then I let her out, giddy because my baby understands that the yard is her toilet, and, when she gets done with her “business,” I clap my hands, coo her name and thank her for urinating and defecating. Seriously? How did I become this girl? I don’t know.

So don’t ask me how, in 18 months, I will drive her then-grown-up self back to Washington, Kan., and then drive away. Don’t ask me how I will walk into a silent house after running errands or riding my bike. I’m not really ready to think about being able to eat curled up on the couch again without a dog face shoved between me and my plate. And don’t ask me how I’ll ride in the car with both hands on the steering wheel and an empty passenger seat. Because I don’t know.

So please don’t ask me how. But it’s OK if you ask me why.

Because last Saturday, on Trego’s first full day with me, we went to Amanda’s Dog Festival. And there, surrounded by canines of all breeds, shapes, sizes and obedience levels, I began to truly understand why I had signed on to be a puppy raiser.

See, Trego doesn’t have a dumb name just because. And she’s not allowed at my work just because. And I don’t get mad at people for giving her treats without asking just because. Trego is a puppy in training for Kansas Specialty Dog Services. I am her puppy raiser.

Someday, this pee machine — who only yesterday realized I wasn’t the only living creature in our front yard (damn squirrel!) — will be a service dog. And then, she’ll spend every waking moment (and most of the sleeping ones) with someone like Amanda. Or like Rachel. Or like Nancy’s best friend, Ryan. Trego will be like Bay. Or like Hamlet. Or like Kauffman.

She’ll have a job. And a family that not only wants her, but needs her too. And that need guarantees that she will be loved (as if her puppy dog eyes didn’t already have that covered!). And her partner will have the freedom I’ve had my entire life.

So that’s why I’ll take her back to KSDS, where she’ll enter Puppy College and prepare to be half of a working team.

And it’s easy to say why.

Just don’t ask me how.

2 Responses to “Just don’t ask me how”

1. DeLois Turner Says:
   November 19th, 2009 at 11:27 pm

   It was a very good article but kind of sad because coming attached to a dog like that and then having to give her away to someone else even if it is a good reason. Also even though it is a very good reason you realy do have to look at it from the dogs side, what she must think and feel when it’s time for her to go to someone else.
   Hopeful it will be someone who loves her just as much as you do.
   Is there anymore play time for the dog or doe’s she have to always be this serious working dog all the time? I would have to think very long and hard before I took on something like what happen.

2. This Ordinary Day » Puppy prodigy Says:
   December 3rd, 2009 at 1:32 am

   [...] counties. My Trego. Trego is one of 10 puppies born at KSDS, Inc., on July 11, 2008. The pups in her litter were all [...]

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